Republican National Committee: Come For The Conservatism And Buy Our Reagan Crap

How would you like a Ronald Reagan bobble head for the low low price of $25 bucks so that the 40th can agree with all of the poor hating, minority spiting, war profiteering, commie delusions you fling at it? For the same price you can also get the Gipper's favorite candy, Jelly Beans. That sure as hell beats the, what $3.99 you'd have to pay at Target? Actually I think they have a 2 for 5 deal right now. Or, better yet, shovel out $400 dollars and you can get a framed photo of Reagan at his Inauguration which is actually something you can grab online for free and upload into a digital frame but hey.....$400 dollars! I know what you want. How about a shit ton of weapons? Oh wait, no you have to be Iranian for that and all the proceeds must go to fund the anti-communist Contra's who are actually a drug cartel. Nevermind. But hey, you can still get a "I really miss Reagan" bumper sticker. Funny how we didn't see that through the Bush years.

So what's with all this cheap Reagan crap now on the market? Well, funny thing. Remember the GOPs token black friend Michael Steele who the Republicans elected to be their chairman in an effort to show that the Democrats weren't the only ones willing to make history? Well, apparently the guy who blinged out the American flag at the bottom of the RNC website spent a bit too much and got his ass canned for it. How much? Well, currently the Republican National Committee is $23 million in debt. Who would have known that all those luxury golf outings and lesbian S&M clubs would be so goddamn expensive. So, new RNC chairman Reince Priebus, is on a quest to restore the RNC back into the green before the Republicans go into the 2012 general election with no support structure. What's Priebus doing? He's selling the Gipper. Or atleast hawking a bunch of Gipper crap. They aren't actually selling the Gipper. That would be illegal.....right? Fuckin socialists trying to ruin capitalism all the time.

Now, the RNC isn't just banking on the memory of Reagan. Priebus has already fired nearly half of his staff and cut back on the massive spending spree which Steele began. But $23 million is a lot of bobble heads. 4.6 million to be exact. But hey, if you just throw on a million dollar shipping and handling fee you'll knock that out in no time. You are the party of overly bloated rich people after all right? Oh, my bad, you don't make the rich people pay for shit. I forgot.